After a 24 hour hiatus from his home the Boy showed up tonite fairly oblivious to the anxiety that was created by his rebellious act of his incommunicado disappearing act. But in fact, I wasn't nearly as disturbed as I would have been a month ago. There is a whatever attitude that develops after awhile because a realization sets in that there is absolutely nothing one can do to stop him or change his thinking. Safety is the main priority and after several incidents I decided something: I looked into the future and saw that in a few short years I would review this time and could have regrets because i was too stressed, anxious and angry to enjoy the rest of of the people that are in my life right now. I have an incredible amount of positive things going on and I refuse to let myself get caught up and dragged down with an irrational space alien of a teenager that is trying to find his way in this world.
I am extremely grateful to the kind of friends I have. KR introduced the theory of the Vital friend, of which she is one. Always there, always ready to help. My friend who lives in the House with the Pink Pillars is another one. KT, in the midst of her own crises, never ever feeling sorry for herself, asks first what she can do for me...Just three of the many people out there...I ask the question: am I also a vital friend?
The Boy is here for some reason and he will eventually figure out what that is- with or without me, the law, or his so-called friends. It's gonna hurt him but I'm determined for it not to take me down...
And I will not blame anyone for my gray hair! Looks good, does it not? Al, dear Al, took these photos at Ann's Hawaiian bash and he makes everyone look beautiful...
